Thursday, April 21, 2011

A'las, I Have Returned,

And ready to fucking lose weight. I'm in beast mode, I'm damn serious. If I have to listen to people call me fat and big anymore, I'll kill myself. And I'm not fucking joking. I have let myself go, been too easy on myself. Let me tell myself, "it's okay to eat." Since when is it okay to eat? WHEN!?!? It isn't not when you're already a big girl. I don't want to be a big girl anymore. I DON'T!! And it's killing me inside. So now, instead of complaining, I'm doing something about it. I'm going to lose this weight. And I'm going to be thin, even if I kill myself trying.

edit: I'm going to put my weight on here every time I post...motivation. I'm weighing myself now and it's................ 190.2, fat ass.


  1. ugh i have this exact same problem but just hold in there. Every time someone says something to me I just use it as a boost to try harder

  2. It's hard to ignore peoples negative comments, so I have worked hard to try not to believe anyones comments on my body, positive or negative. While it sucks when someone calls me thin (which I'm not) and I don't allow myself to feel happy, when someone says I'm chubby or healthy (and when I was bigger, fat, as I know logically now I'm not fat, I just see fat) I can ignore that too.

    It might be helpful to just write down everything you eat (and the amounts). Not even with a calorie count involved. It really helps me when I am in binge mode or the It's okay I can eat it mode. I can see where I'm overeatingm, and having to think and write it down keeps me from overindulging.