I just want to be beautiful. I just want to look perfect. I have been sick all weekend. Which has helped with my eating. Because I really haven't ate. I'm glad for that but I couldn't get to the gym saturday. So when I weighed myself today, I gained a pound, WTF? I'm not going to lie. I'm doing this for me mostly, but I'm also doing this so I can look good for my husband. I'm scared he'll find someone better. And it hurts me to think about it. I just want to be thin.Fat isn't pretty. Who looks at fat and likes it? There is no such thing as a BBW. I hate that term. And I wish people wouldn't call me that anymore. I want to be sexy. And thin is sexy. But hey, it will take some time. I know it wont happen overnight.